
“You going to the garage to practice juggling?”
My wife was carrying three bottles of water as she struggled to open the back door.
“Very funny.” Her tone was code for you’re not half as funny as you think you are. “These are for the guys working the trash pick up. It’s 98 degrees out there, and I figure they could use some cold water.”
This has become a weekly habit. And it is about a lot more than juggling bottles of cold water.
See Me?
Lately I’ve been wrestling with this question: do the individuals with whom I cross paths every day feel seen by me?
It is easy for me to acknowledge those with whom I am comfortable. Those who, on the surface at least, share my values. Those whose hopes and dreams align with mine.
An uncomfortable truth is how easily I am able to not see those who live outside my cushy field of vision. The scruffy young wait staff. The office cleanup crew. The person at the airport shoeshine stand.
It is disconcerting how easily I am able to avoid the awkward misfit who doesn’t conform. Or the person who embraces a different faith. Or no faith.
The ones who are the least like me are the most challenging for me to get beyond externals and see the human being.
It is astounding how easily so many in plain sight can become invisible.
This kind of selective vision of personhood eats away at the fabric of neighborhoods, communities and nations.
In the rock opera Tommy, the recurring plea is for the connectivity virtually every person needs — “See me, feel me. Touch me, hear me.”
. My f. riend Brian Kenneth Miller, who speaks to groups around the world on Human Connection, puts it this way: “everyone deserves to feel heard, understood and valued.”
What Every Person Deserves
Everyone needs connection.
It feels like this might be one of the questions of the moment. While norms feel shattered and connections fractured, can we rethink the way we engage with those with whom we cross paths?
The implications could be profound.
Bridges might be built…bridges that could lead to new and productive conversations. We might learn things about neighbors, far and wide. We might identify some hidden blind spots. Maybe.
Tho”se are the acknowledgments. The problem is if we do nothing, nothing changes.
A Challenge
Cynicism is easy. If that’s your choice, I get it.
Besides, really seeing those with whom our paths cross isn’t the easiest thing to do. Past experiences and preconceived notions inevitably challenge our better angels.
Here”’s an alternative idea.
Deciding to see things differently is where change begins. And this brings me back to the story of my wife juggling water bottles.
Today was another trash pick up day. And even though she wasn’t around to hand the guys a cold drink, there is clear evidence of a bridge being built. Up and down the route, trash bins are empty and (more or less) left where they had been staged for pick up. But ours had been rolled up our driveway, and neatly positioned just outside the garage.
A big thing? Heck no.
And that’s the point. It sounds trite, even naive to say big things begin with small acts. But it may be more true today than ever.
The challenge: look for a way to say “I see you” to someone who might need to hear that message.
Maybe stop for a chat with the person in the back office. Or tell the person clearing your restaurant table that you appreciate the work they do. Or check on the neighbor you barely speak to (I’m pointing at me when I say this).
Or hand a bottle of cold water to those who pick up your garbage..
You might find out you’re into bridge building.
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If you appreciate this article, check out my TEDx Talk, How to be successful without being a jerk.
I help successful professionals build a business that aligns with their values and aspirations. To schedule a discovery call to see if my framework is a fit for you, email me at eric@ericfletcherconsulting.com, or access my calendar here.








