A CPA I know described it this way.

“When I’m with a client, I’m completely present. I know exactly what I’m doing and why. But the moment I’m in a conversation about anything related to business development, I turn into an uncomfortable, uncertain person that can’t get out of my own way.”

She wasn’t describing a skills gap. She’d worked with folks with the goal of learning how to become a rainmaker, and she’d incorporated many of their suggestions. But the discomfort was still there.

She was describing an identity that doesn’t fit.

Working with two operating systems

The fact is, many professional service providers carry two distinct professional identities. For most, switching between these identities is exhausting.

There’s the expert. This is the version that was shaped by years of training, experience, and the discipline of a profession. The expert operates from depth. From the confidence that comes with having solved problems like this before. The expert is the comfortable identifier.

And then there’s the developer. This is the version that is expected to developthe work. To land the engagement. The developer needs visibility. Needs to initiate. Needs to make a case for their own value in rooms where nobody asked. Becoming a developer, for many professionals, feels like putting on a hat that doesn’t quite fit. And it feels like everyone can tell.

The friction comes because, as typically constructed, these personas aren’t complementary. They’re different orientations. And the need to hold both, sometimes within the same afternoon. 

What the friction costs

The obvious cost is measured in time. The networking event where engaging felt forced. The RFP you invested hours in that went nowhere. The follow-up that felt pushy, so you failed to persist.

But the hidden cost is the energy that never gets reclaimed. Every time you toggle from expert to developer and back again, something gets lost in translation.

The friction doesn’t just impact your pipeline. It is reflected in your presence. And presence, for a professional service provider, is everything.

The misdiagnosis

When a professional feels this friction, too many conclude that the problem is personal.

I’m just not a natural salesperson. I don’t have the personality for it. I chose a profession, not a sales job.

These feel accurate.

But they’re wrong. The friction doesn’t signal a character flaw. It’s a structural problem. A mismatch between who you are and the approach to practice development you’ve been handed.

The traditional sales model isn’t designed for the expert. It was designed for someone whose entire identity is built around finding and closing business. When you try to graft that model onto an identity built around expertise and service, the result is the awkwardness you feel.

The hat doesn’t fit because it was made for someone else.

A different model

The truth is, practice development doesn’t have to require you to become someone you don’t recognize.

I believe the skills that make you exceptional at your work — the ability to ask good questions, the deep understanding of complex problems, the genuine desire to deliver solutions — actually form the foundation of a more effective approach to business development.

The most effective business development isn’t a separate activity layered on top of your work. It’s an extension of the work itself.

It flows from knowing precisely who you serve, understanding what drives their most consequential decisions, and building a solution that aligns with that driver.

When this alignment exists, you no longer have to put on the ill-fitting hat. All that is required is the right framework — identify targets, understand the drivers and deliver a solution.

***

I’m building a waiting list for folks who want to be notified about the availability of my forthcoming book, Built to Serve: The Business Development Method for Professionals Who Hate Selling. It deals specifically with this challenge. So if this sounds familiar, I invite you to join the list. I’ll send you an advance PDF of the Introduction and an email when the book is published (it’s coming soon!). There is absolutely no obligation. To join the Waitlist, just click here.

“Who is your ideal client?”

If you’re a service provider or own a small business, the answer to this simple five word question reveals a lot.

Whether efforts to grow have direction or are scattered and spread too thin is a dead giveaway about how those efforts are proceeding.

It’s a question I pose early with anyone who feels they’re losing the competition for market share.

Some answer quickly, with confidence. “Small to mid-size businesses.” “Executives in transition.” “Anyone who needs good legal counsel.”

Others seem puzzled by the question. They pause, shift a little, and then say something like “Honestly? The next person who calls me.”

Both answers are indicative of challenging times ahead. Both signal what is preventing progress, slowing growth and contributing to a mounting angst about the future. And that angst has a name.

I call it the fog.

What the Fog Feels Like

The tricky thing is, the fog isn’t obvious when you’re in it. It doesn’t announce itself. It comes disguised as flexibility. As hustle. As the admirable instinct to help whoever shows up with a real problem. Or as precedent — “this is the way we’ve always done it.”

If this sounds familiar, things are likely complicated by the fact that you’re using all the right tactics.

You go to the networking events. You maintain the LinkedIn presence. You ask for referrals and follow up on any that come in. You go to the business development meetings, write the articles, and are open to any opportunity to speak.

Yet something isn’t right. The pipeline is unpredictable. The people you end up working with aren’t always the clients you’d choose.

Your business development activity feels like a second job that you don’t one-hundred percent believe in. And one you sure didn’t sign up for.

That friction between doing the work and finding the work? That’s the fog doing what fog does. Slowing progress. Making it difficult to see or prepare for what’s ahead. And these days preparing for the future feels more critical than ever.

Why Smart Qualified People Stay in the Fog 

After thirty years Ive learned it is not very helpful when someone like me comes along suggesting your practice might benefit from “strategic direction.” Suggesting that this will dissipate the fog.

Professionals want to deliver their service. This translates to getting the training, doing all the requisite prep work and setting up shop. And waiting for the market to beat a path to your door. Or hoping to wind up in the right place at the right time in order to encounter the right prospect.

Smart, highly trained professionals have little-to-no interest in a whole new bundle of work related to finding and engaging the clients they want to serve. This work bears no resemblance to the work they are intent on providing.

So when a strategy (or a consultant) suggests a focus that narrows the prospect pool it feels like we’re suggesting potential opportunities be left on the table.

I remember the quizzical look on the face of a lawyer when I suggested the real test of a solid plan for growing a practice is how often you say no to an opportunity. He argued this would be professionally irresponsible. New clients don’t grow on trees!

Dealing with the fog feels preferable to becoming specific about who you choose to serve.

Then there’s this sinister subtlety.

In most professional cultures, a broad client base reads as versatility. Serving “a wide range of clients across industries” sounds impressive. By contrast, focusing specifically on “founders of family-owned manufacturing companies navigating their first succession” can feel limiting.

The truth is, the focus in the second answer is the kind of clarity that drives referrals, premium pricing, and a full portfolio of the kind of work that energizes you.

Versatility is a disguise. The generalist in any arena is increasingly the minder of a commodity.

The Cost That Doesn’t Show Up On A Spreadsheet

The financial cost of the fog is exorbitant. Scattered marketing dollars. Hours pursuing work that never converts. Proposals written for prospects who were never quite right. We can put a dollar figure on these.

But there is a deeper and more damaging cost.

It’s the mental energy spent wondering whether you’re doing the right things. The background anxiety about where the next engagement will come from. The kind of cognitive dissonance that comes with accepting work you know isn’t the best use of your time, because turning down any revenue feels dangerous.

That anxiety doesn’t stay in a spreadsheet cell labeled “business development.” The client who deserves your perception, the problem that calls for creativity, the issues that need your judgment, all of these carry a hefty price.

The fog doesn’t just cost you new business. It infringes on the quality of the work you’re already doing. Even the quality of your life.

The Question That Starts To Cut Through The Fog

The fog begins to clear the moment you stop asking “who can I serve?” and start asking “who should I serve?”

Those two questions sound similar. They’re not.

“Who can I serve?” is open-ended by design. It admits everyone. Anyone. It’s generous, and in a different context, it can be noble. But as a practice development strategy, it sends you everywhere and lands you nowhere.

“Who should I serve?” is a strategic question. It asks you to think about alignment between your deepest expertise and a specific person’s most pressing problem. It asks you to consider where you do your best work, and for whom. It asks that you make a choice.

That choice is not a limitation. It is the gateway to a practice that grows with purpose rather than by accident.

In the work I do with professional service providers (and in a new book I have coming) real progress begins here. Not with a tactic or a template, but with permission to stop trying to be relevant to everyone, and start becoming indispensable to someone specific.

The angst you feel about the future has a name. And now that you’ve named it, you can begin to find your way out.

***

If this is landing for you, I invite you to add your name to a Waitlist of folks who have asked me to notify them about the availability of my forthcoming book,Built to Serve: The Business Development Method for Professionals Who Hate Selling. No commitment — just a note when it’s published. And if you join the Waitlist I’ll shoot you a PDF of the Introduction. Just click here.

It is easy to find plenty of advice on how to incorporate AI into your organization and personal life.

LinkedIn feeds, YouTube channels, blogs and every social platform out there includes reviews of the latest offerings, which AI to lean on for which task, prompting tips for best results and even how to turn an entire team of AI Agents loose on entire segments of your business.

Some of it is helpful. Keeping up feels impossible.

And then there’s the cheery stuff. You know, the impact on the shape of organizations. Entire roles absorbed by AI. Positions eliminated. Mass RIFs. Full scale restructuring.

It is a lot.

If you’re like me, you bounce between enthusiasm and apprehension.

By now no one has to convince you of AI’s inevitability. Or even of it’s value. But with a landscape that shifts almost daily, conversations that feel like they require a new vocabulary plus ethical, not to mention moral issues in the mix, how do you get a handle on what to do next?

A Place To Focus

No one will fault you for feeling like everything is shifting, and new structural underpinnings are being made up on the fly; but the foundation for a successful enterprise is not as different as the market noise might make it seem.

The initiatives that successfully navigate the next 12 to 24 months will be the ones that are built on the three elements of human adventure.

  • a Vision
  • defined Core Values
  • shared Aspirations

These three elements are the DNA of a human adventure. AI can help you with how these are articulated; but the work related to identifiying these three elements must be led by human beings.

It can be challenging; but shortcuts have the effect of stripping a venture of its heart and soul.

This isn’t new with the intrusion of AI. But it is more critical.

Vision is why you get up every morning to do what you do. It is uniquely human, typically blends art and science…experiences and expertise…and It defines an ultimate destination.

Core Values provide touchstones and guardrails. What keeps you on course and is the final proving ground for every critical decision? What are the three or four ideals or ideas that are absolute and around which you will not compromise? Your Core Values bake humanity into a venture.

Shared Aspirations are the stuff from which connective tissue grows. It knits a culture out of a diverse group. It humanizes hopes and fears. And just like Vision and Values, Aspirations are uniquely human.

AI can be a useful sounding board. It can help hone the way each of these is articulated; but this stuff is the purview of human consciousness, decision and reason.

It is the imagination, heart and empathy of any endeavor.

But what you call it isn’t as important as this: even in the age of AI, the heartbeat of any endeavor is the domain of humanity.

And the future belongs to those who, rather than viewing this as soft and unrelated to the bottomline, have invested in the identification, articulation and nurture of what makes a uniquely human endeavor

Don’t look now, but conversations are becoming increasingly rare.

The fact that there are plenty of attempts at messaging doesn’t mean any real conversations are taking place…

Just because there is measurable attention being paid to a given topic or hundreds of hours of talk devoted to a critical issue is no guarantee of progress.

We all know this. We’ve experienced it over and over.

It was the 1940’s. The Congress of the United States was the scene. And there was plenty talk focused on the issue of equal pay.

By the middle of the decade legislation was introduced to make it illegal for women to be paid less than men for comparable work.

Eight decades of talk later the goal is yet to be realized.

And while perhaps not as jarring a lack of progress as in the case of equal pay, the list of issues that have been the subject of ongoing, often loud conversations for years with little movement is lengthy. Consider this handful, offered in no particular order:

  • How long have those in and around the legal industry been discussing the death of the billable hour? (It was a hot topic when I first worked with a law firm in the late 90’s — and it had been going on for a while by then.)
  • Or money in the political process?
  • Or mass transit in your community?
  • Or healthcare?
  • Or peace?

The list is long. It can easily balloon to ten or twenty times what we might note here without breaking a sweat.

Consider the conversations that repeatedly pop up in your life — at home, work or in any setting where a group is engaged in an effort to coexist…never mind collaborate. Or compromise.

Part of the Problem

There is more than one reason that the art of conversation is disappearing from our landscape. However, here is one.

Without respect to the particular topic, wherever today’s attempts at meaningful dialogue are framed by the same values, perspectives, language and talking points, progress will be marginal, at best.

This is not to suggest there hasn’t been movement on many of the issues we’ve been talking about for a long time. There has.

And we’re sure not suggesting that we should shut down the talk.

But words can become tired.

Well worn talking points and phrases that slip from the tongue with little thought have a tendency to become hollow.

And accomplish little.

So if you feel as though you’re wrestling with the same issues and having the same conversations — in your personal life or in a professional setting — let’s explore a way to shake things up for the better.

Keys To Better Conversations

“Depend upon it, sir, when a man knows he is to be hanged in a fortnight, it concentrates his mind wonderfully.” — Samuel Johnson

Certain circumstances sharpen our focus. But an existential moment should not be the prerequisite for consequential change around important issues.

To that end, here are a few thoughts on instigating better conversations.

1. Listening (vs. Talking) Is The Priority

We spend a lot of time around here talking about listening. Yes…ironic, and maybe one of the reasons we are so bad at it. But with that said, the focus is warranted if for no other reason than nothing is communicated until someone decides to listen.

Intentional listening is not about hearing talk; it is about dispensing with agendas, suspending preconceived notions, and striving more to understand than to be understood.

If the only thing we do today is commit to the act of intentional listening, we will instantly change the quality of our conversations.

2. Focus First on Common Values & Shared Aspirations

Consider how communication that is aligned with the future of our children or personal health tend to capture our attention.

Shared experiences are a good place to begin; but conversations that become substantive enough to effect measurable progress around big issues find footing in core values and hopes and dreams.

3. Dispense With Expectations.

In conversations that matter, expectations are a predictor of failure. Expectations easily morph into conditions; and when it comes to better conversations, a condition is synonymous with an agenda. We do well to put both of these on a back burner.

4. Agree on Milestones

Identifying specific milestones serves three purposes.

  1. It outlines the conversation, providing continuity and guardrails;
  2. Agreed upon milestones provide alignment around commonality;
  3. The realization of an agreed upon milestone serves as a win-win moment. The more you realize common goals, the more you experience the value in conversations that make a difference.

5. At a minimum, Build a Bridge to the Next Conversation

Better conversations do not seek to end a discussion, but to make on-going dialogue the norm.

Next to Listening, nothing will change the nature of your conversations more than a commitment to being certain you tee-up the next conversation.

Learning is never ending; and ongoing dialogue is the only path to lasting change.

No matter the topic — how to think about AI, mental health, organizational growth, leadership, stronger relationships, a better world for future generations — if we continue to have the same old conversations, the past is, indeed, prologue.

The key to a new experience tomorrow is a better conversation today.

I was on the phone with Ronald, a customer support rep for a Fortune 100 company.

I had strategically ordered talking points that presented context and thoroughly (I thought) explained my issue.

“I’m terribly sorry your experience hasn’t lived up to expectations, Mr. Fletcher. Let me see what I can do.”

Ronald’s tone was pleasant enough. But it sounded like he was reading from a script that could have been created for just about any support or service scenario.

As our dialogue continued it became clear that what I was certain had been a crystal clear presentation of my issue had not landed. I took a loud, exasperated breath, and prepared to make another attempt.

Maybe you can relate.

Any Of Us, Anywhere

Circumstances don’t matter much. In personal relationships, with team members, clients, prospects or vendors, from the mundane to the consequential, I am stunned how often the story I’m trying to tell seems to completely miss the mark.

How, when I am so clear about the message, can communication be so difficult?

We won’t get to the bottom of this in one article. But a mental review of communication failures with which I am intimately familiar suggests there are at least three overarching issues worth thinking about.

1. A Shortage of Curiosity

This issue can be due to the presence of (1) an overriding agenda; (2) a preconceived notion; or (3) simply a lack of the inquisitive nature we were born with.

Where an agenda is the primary driver, interactions might be more accurately characterized as debates. In debate the goal of all parties is to ultimately win. And victory is achieved with an attack and destroy approach to (so-called) give-and-take..

Preconceived notions derail connection because they undermine or limit the degree to which parties are able to strive to understand the perspective of the other. This absence of understanding makes it difficult to find common ground.

Curiosity is important because it is the breeding ground for creativity. Without it we are bound to the world we know, and the box of solutions with which we have experience. New challenges call for out-of-the-box thinking. And curiosity that is consistently asking why is where challenges give way to new possibilities.

Dispense with the agenda and preconceived notions while nurturing curiosity and you’re on your way to productive interactions.

2. An Opinion Carved In Stone

Conviction is often manifest in a position that has been cast in stone. Where this exists, the only hope is to find a way to change the conversation. The surest way to create an environment in which this is possible is, in my experience, to demonstrate the absence of a stone tablet when it comes to communicating.

The tough part is that this can feel like (and often is) a one-way street. And before you object, this should not be mistaken for a suggestion that principles or values are up for grabs.

Rather, it is to suggest an openness to explore made possible by a belief that dialogue is where new possibilities are discovered. And the tougher the conversation, the more critical it is to embrace this exploration.

3. Unintentional Selfishness

If you’re sitting across from an individual whose identity (or livelihood) depends on a particular idea or position, you are up against self interest. Your hope for effective communication rests in demonstrating that your only goal is to have productive dialogue. Then lean heavily on the ideas in #1 and #2 — no agenda…nothing carved in stone.

This is easier to suggest than it is to execute. The key is to remember that more often than not, connection is a process…a series of encounters. This is certainly the case when it comes to building relationship.

The minimum acceptable goal for most conversations should be to build a solid bridge to the next conversation. If you believe in your story, sow the seeds that prompt ongoing exploration.

The Borders of Our Communications

Conversation is the fabric of connection. The awkward pauses and messy misspeaks are all part of the soundtrack. Like the composition of a masterpiece, connection requires persistence, practice and creativity.

The payoff is communication. Give up too soon, and we are left with “what might have been.”

Paul Simon, characterizes this as the “dangling conversation” that forms the “borders of our lives.”

We sense the disconnect. Whether with a partner, a family member, a friend or colleague…or even in efforts to market a product or service.

And yes…even in failed attempts to connect with the customer support rep who is bound by his script.

That story continues for me. I’m in the process of trying to change the conversation. Or at least, the context. But that is a story for another article. Today I can report success when it comes to keeping the conversation going.

Because even in the mundane communications of a day, we all want connection

I have way too much experience in an increasingly “I’ll scratch your back if you’ll scratch mine” or “pay-to-play” marketplace. As a result, I don’t put much stock in awards.

But CICERO (the Emmys of speech writing) is a little different. It comes with credibility and a heavy weight panel of judges. 

So bear with me for a second. 

I share this with you because I take it as a legitimate sign of hope.

I hope you find it as encouraging as I do that a little talk — a plea for human kindness — has been viewed by nearly a quarter million people on YouTube…and recognized by CICERO.

If you’re inclined, catch the talk here — and thanks for allowing me this personal note

https://youtu.be/oZAba7nCQas?is=xPHMp4wmM8zGAFWg

No matter what you’re building, simply creating the state of the art is no guarantee anyone will care…much less beat a path to your door.

You don’t need me to tell you this.

Every day someone is offering a new state-of-your-industry service or solution. Some might actually live up to the hype. But most will have trouble attracting the attention necessary to maintain viability.

Yet, enterprises of all types repeatedly behave as if they believe their offering is the exception. That it is so exceptional it will rise above the noise.

More often than not, these hopes are dashed.

One reason for this is that it is tough to buck precedent.

A Hard Habit to Break

“The way we’ve always done it” comes with a measure of comfort. Where there is a risk averse mindset and an aversion to selling in the first place, it can feel foolish to consider experimenting. A well worn path provides a measure of comfort…not to mention a dose of CYA.

Any new process means new investments, operational headaches, and requires more than a little nerve.

As a result, we all know scores of endeavors — established firms, entrepreneurial ventures, institutions, worthy causes — that, year after year, employ an approach to sustainability and growth that has repeatedly disappointed.

For example, consider the reality in business law firms. when it comes to initiatives intended to increase revenue, “the-way-it’s-always-been-done” consistently produces modest to negligible organic growth in all but a handful of firms when numbers are adjusted for inflation and lateral partner acquisition.

As AI imposes whole new economic models on the professional services industry, relying on the same old marginally effective business development strategies that have been marginally effective for decades seems to border on insanity.`

A Proven Approach: A New Framework

Referrals have always been the greatest source for new top tier connections. And before you object that it’s just another one of the ways we’ve always spread the word about something, let me underscored one critical note: it produces results.

Seasoned rainmakers know this. They invest heavily in the development of a network that grows the universe of individuals who know them, trust them and will happily issue a recommendation.

Community organizers and successful fundraisers understand the dynamic. They focus resources on enlisting opinion leaders early in any campaign. The success of an initiative rests on having the right advocates lending their names and opening important doors.

Social media has added a new dimension to the value to be derived for a brand from an active network of influential advocates.

And advertisers have long understood that word-of-mouth messaging, a personal recommendation coming from the right source, is priceless.

Heres the point.

You can dramatically change your organic growth experience by investing in the development of strategic allies. That is, a group of individuals already connected to and trusted by your most coveted prospects.

The right allies do at least three things that are critical to generating new revenue:

  • Allies jumpstart awareness for your initiative;
  • Allies provide strategic visibility around the value you offer;
  • Allies transfer to you a measure of the trust bestowed on them by your most coveted targets.

All of these mean you move more quickly from an unknown commodity to a productive relationship. And, assuming you play your cards right, to eventual trusted advisor status.

Here’s a high level framework you can copy, brainstorm around and adapt to your current effort to build or grow a practice, a community or a cause.

Building A Band Of Allies

Step 1: Create An Ideal Client Profile (ICP).

This is about knowing precisely who you want to work with. The more precise, the better. If you need to begin with broad generalities, go ahead; but ultimately you’ll want to get as close to naming specific names as possible. Note: the more specifics you can include in your ICP the more AI can be a research partner in naming names.

Step 2: Identify specific Targets that match your ICP. (Begin with three.)

Step 3: Create A Relationship Map For Each Target.

Identify individuals already associated with a specific Target you’ve named. You’re looking for a relationship (or a group of connections) that, when convinced of the value you bring to the table, will introduce you to the Target they are connected to. For example, an estate planning attorney connects to CPAs, Financial Planners and Trust Officers because these groups work with high net worth estates.

Step 4: Research Each Prospective Ally.

.

The ultimate goal here is two fold: (1) to insure that you have a path…via an individual or a group of individuals…that leads directly to the decision maker of your Target; (2) to learn as much as possible about how you might offer value to your Allies. For example, the estate attorney noted above conducts regular “lunch-and-learn’ sessions on legal estate planning issues for high net worth families.

Step 5: Work The Relationship Maps

The goal is to connect as quickly as possible with the individual closest to your Target, and deliver relevant value to that individual in a way that ultimately results in a referral to the prospective client. For example, in sharing information related to high net worth estate planning with his allies, the estate attorney develops trust, and is invited by his allies to meet with the Target for customized counsel.

This Isn’t Rocket Science

This simply bakes the power of referrals into an intentional strategy.

Measurable organic revenue growth belongs to the organizations and individuals who are rethink their approach. Creating and nurturing a referral pipeline is not a new concept. This Allies framework simply builds on the most effective organic growth tool human beings have imagined — a personal referral from a trusted source — and bakes it into an intentional strategy.

***

If you’d like more information on how to create a pipeline of allies and dramatically retool your growth initiative, shoot me a note. It will be a pleasure to schedule a complimentary 45-minute conversation — eric@ericfletcherconsulting.com

The future is waiting to see who will emerge with the boldest vision of what it means to be a human being in our new age.

“It may not be cool, but I have to say it can be kind of depressing.”

Vicki is a thirty-something young professional. And she’d just said what several in the Zoom meeting were thinking.

The discussion had veered onto the topic of AI. Most in the room used AI regularly. So this wasn’t a discussion born of unfamiliarity. Everyone had a measure of experience with AI.

Several almost whispered that they had friends who were currently on the street looking for jobs, and the speculation was universal; this could be traced in one way or another to the degree to which AI was changing the workplace..

Many felt, based on the projections of “experts”, that it is only a matter of time before they become targets for the efficiencies of the AI revolution.

Jeff added an exclamation point to Vicki’s comments. “It’s just a lot right now!”

It IS a lot. The projections for AI’s impact on the job market are breathtaking. And there is a feeling of inevitability about it all.

And this isn’t coming from a gloom-and-doom perspective. I believe change represents opportunity…which ought to be good news, because we are certainly in the middle of change.

Much of what AI will bring is going to be mind blowing in an exciting way. Some, not so much. But the change is upon us.

So what do we say to the Vicki’s and Jeff’s…to our kids and grandkids? I have been thinking a lot about the observation of a friend of mine who, when reflecting on what is on the horizon, said:

▶️ “Whoever has the greatest view of the human being will win the future.”

The challenge for leaders everywhere is to think differently about how we keep human beings engaged and at the center of our communities and nations.

What actions might be taken by parents, community, civic, business, religious and political leaders that underscore the worth of a person? 

It is a complex challenge. But human beings can do impossible things. And as we marvel at technological wonders, this, it seems, ought to be part of the message going forward.

Vicki and Jeff and millions of our sons and daughters are wondering who will be willing to have the conversation.

Who will emerge with a bold, compelling vision of what it means to be a human being in our remarkable age?

“What is the one piece of advice you’d offer that will improve any conversation we might have today?”

I was wrapping up an interview on “how to have better conversations.” It had not been great.

“Be curious,” was my guest’s instant reply.

I’d been going back and forth with this guest for twenty-nine minutes. In that final moment I realized I had screwed up. This is where I should have started. 

It is the key to life. long exploration…to a perpetual quest to understand.

I was young, and pretty sure I was on the road to stardom. It turns out, I was missing something important — I wasn’t very curious.

I’ve reflected on that experience hundreds, maybe thousands of times over the past 30+ years. And years later the renowned human interaction expert, Ted Lasso added an exclamation point when he used a line attributed to Walt Whitman. Be curious, not judgmental.

It’s In Our Genes

Virtually every one of us has the curiosity gene. We were born with it. It’s the instinct to explore. A sense that there is more to discover.

. We learn the language quickly. Why? When? How? Why not? What if?

It is a defining characteristic of growth as a person.

But along the way we learn the consequences of curiosity. Call it the don’t-touch-a-hot-stove effect.

And just like that, we come face to face with the complexities of life. Over time, curiosity’s questions don’t come as quickly as they used to.

The counterpoint Whitman refers to — the temptation to be “judgmental” — begins to chip away at our curious nature.

Hang On To Curiosity

Don’t get me wrong. The fact that actions have consequences is a critical lesson. The irony is that it is a lesson we learn thanks to our curiosity.

What I’m proposing is that the older we get the lesson we need to learn is how to hold tight to childlike curiosity. I

It is the key to successfully navigating human interactions.

Childlike curiosity always senses there is more to every story.

It drives us to keep exploring, to keep opening doors.

It is our hedge against ceasing to live before we die.

And while there is always the danger that we’ll happen upon a hot stove, the wound is rarely a match for the joy resident in a lifetime of exploration.

If we are able to hold on, to lead with curiosity, we’ll be able to approach any experience…any conversation (even a radio interview), being less judgmental. And eager to see what else we might learn about our adventure.

If the defining factor in your idea of growth is headcount, you may be fooling yourself.

For starters, as AI runs roughshod through the marketplace, the size of your organization is becoming irrelevant..

Then there are the numbers.

I was visiting with a law firm that over the past five years had grown in terms of its attorney count by 25% — from 175 to 220 attorneys. Not bad for a firm in that general size range.

Meanwhile, for more than a decade, gross revenue for the firm had consistently been between $105 and $110 million USD.

When adjusted for inflation, not to mention factoring the hard costs of the increased headcount, it’s difficult to view this as growth in anything more than desks occupied or an increase in available time — the primary inventory of most professional service firms.

Today that firm faces a new market reality: AI is causing a measurable reduction in that revered headcount.

Turns out there are only two ways to measure the growth that really counts: gross revenue and net profit.

But when the discussion turns to revenue growth, things get dicey. New business development — the creation of relationships that generate new revenue — is often a mystery. Efforts to make sales processes fit the professional service model get mixed results. Silver bullets come with promise and fanfare but rarely deliver.

Reframing

The most effective business development I’ve ever seen — BizDev that generates measurable (and sustained) revenue growth is an approach that is indistinguishable from the service you provide.

It is you doing the work you love with the clients you serve.

No awkward pitches. Nothing that feels manipulative. No wondering where to go. None of what feels like a gut-punch when you hear the words “business development.”

It’s about strategic service. Probably one of the things that drew you to your practice in the first place. And it comes with a personal touch that AI cannot deliver.

For example, consider the estate planning lawyer who developed a consistent $1 million + a year practice by hosting complimentary seminars for CPAs and Trust officers, addressing sophisticated planning strategies. These seminars resulted in introductions to clients of the CPAs and Trust officers who would benefit from these strategies.

This approach to growing a business is one of the things that intrigued CEO Monthly Magazine, as highlighted in this very generous article. I am grateful to the editorial team for their interest, and for sharing the idea in this profile.

**

I work with select service providers to help them build a robust pipeline of partner level opportunities without having to turn into a sales professional. If reframing BizDev intrigues you and you’d like to schedule a call for more information, shoot me a note at eric@ericfletcherconsulting.com . 

About the image: a work session with a group of service providers, rethinking how to grow revenue in 2026.